Learning to Hate My Life

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. ~Luke 14:26

As I consider my life since coming to faith in Christ, I see that as I have grown older, I have gradually, ever so slowly, learned more and more about following Jesus and about being guided by the Holy Spirit. But I also see that as I have aged, I have become more desperate for the materialistic things I have always wanted. For example, a sexy wife, and a high-paying job. While these are merely temptations to indulge in selfishness, still I struggle against growing desperation as I see the years rolling on ever faster.

Jesus says we must hate our respective lives in order to be his disciples. This desperation makes that easier. That is, it seems to. However, I suspect it isn't my life that I'm inclined to hate, but rather my circumstances. But resigning to hating my life because it isn't what I'd like it to be simply feels like giving in to discouragement. This kind of despair is not what Jesus is talking about. It seems instead to be hating the absence of particular idols from my life rather than hating my life.

The goal in having the proper perspective Jesus prescribes is not in being bitter over what my life is like, but rather in having no inordinate love for all the good of which my life consists. I must thank God for all his many blessings, yet never love them. I must keep them distant from my heart because this life, as good as it may be, is never the point.

The enjoyment of God's blessings is a natural consequence of having received them and appropriately results in gratitude and admiration for God. Yet my pleasure in life must never crowd out my love for God. Not in any way. Not in the slightest.

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. ~John 12:24-26

Galatians 6:1-5

I was so caught up in this passage, I felt compelled to share the thoughts racing around my head...

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." ~Galatians 6:1-5

The first verse makes the point, and verses 2 through 5 elaborate. As to the first sentence, he who should "restore him gently" is "you who are spiritual". But does this mean all of "you" because you are spiritual or does it mean only those of "you" who are spiritual? Verse 2 expands the idea with direction that clearly applies to everyone. Obviously, it is not only important for those "who are spiritual" to fulfill the law of Christ! Therefore, it must be concluded that "who are spiritual" is used as a counterpoint and describes all of those who are not "caught in sin".

Of course, also worthy of note is that someone "caught in a sin" should be restored gently. This alone is worth considerable meditation. Certainly soft words alone are not at all gently restorative. We must be guided by following the recent verse 5:14, which refers to Leviticus 19:18, "Love your neighbor as yourself."

When hearing "But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted", I used to imagine a person entering a bar to find his friend who was indulging in alcohol only to find himself swilling beer. But the temptation referred to here is toward pride of being "you who are spiritual". For, "if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself wihtout comparing himself to somebody else". This is quite plain. But merely connecting verses 3 and 4 with the second part of verse 1 is revelatory for me. The temptation we face when gently restoring our brothers is less in being caught in the same sin, but more in being tangled in pride.

An apparent contradiction lies between verses 2 and 5. How can it be that we should "Carry each other's burdens" when "each one should carry his own load". Upon brief reflection, it must be recognized that while each should carry his own load, verse 1 makes clear it does not always happen. Sometimes, "someone is caught in a sin", not carrying his own load. We must always endeavor to carry our own load and, when necessary, fulfill the law of Christ to "love your neighbor as yourself" by carrying "each other's burdens".